what the . . .

Porter is in the bad habit of saying "what the. . ." all the time. He often follows it with something nonsensical like "what the boob" or "what the doodie." (He also says "holy shoot" a lot and makes me nervous everytime). Anyway, this morning Porter was enjoying his breakfast and said "what the deliciousness." Hilarious. Later, we were getting ready to take Dicken into Uncle Jess to be neutered (Thanks Jess. Cross your fingers that it will stop Dicken from peeing) and Porter was selecting a car to bring along. He said he wanted to find a good one to show Uncle Jess. I asked him if he would actually show the car to Jess, since he is so shy. He said, "maybe, but I just get so nervous." Finally, in another funny little Porterism, he was tossing and turning in bed and I asked him what he was doing. He said, he just couldn't get at a good angle. He kept getting bad angles.

Dallin is still being Dallinesque. He has started telling me that he is hungry for certain things, like "I am hungry for a hot dog" or "I am hungry for cheese sandwich." He recently said that he was hungry for Peeps. I don't how he could even remember what Peeps are. He also has started making up stories about Uncle Jacob. He told me that Jamba Juice is Uncle Jacob's favorite and that he went there with Uncle Jacob. He tells all the time about places that Jacob has taken him or things Jacob has given him. Recently, Joe left new toy cars out on the table for Porter and Dallin. When they found them, Dallin believed that Jacob had left the cars. Porter agreed.

literal

A couple of days ago I complained out loud that if Dicken peed on the floor one more time, I was going to kill him. He peed several places this morning and Porter found it. Porter said, "are you going to kill Dicken now?" I grumped "yes." He said, "will you shoot him with a gun or kill him with a sword?" I'm still deciding . . .

Smart

Troodon

Velociraptor

Yesterday, Porter told us that he is as smart as a Troodon (which we learned was the smartest dinosaur). Not to be outdone. Dallin says he is as smart as a Velociraptor. Porter also said that he has bigger muscles than all his friends. He can lift the heaviest things of anyone (in his opinion). He is definitely his father's son.

This morning I heard Dallin and Porter fighting over some cars. Porter yelled at Dallin to get out of his way and Dallin yelled back "Porter, you not my friend!" Porter said, "stinky stupidhead" back and Dallin responded, "but I am your friend." Nice come back Dallin. I think he meant that Porter still liked him even though he didn't like Porter, but who knows. Maybe this is an insult that I have never heard.

natural history

We went to the museum of natural history at the U last week. We missed going when our ward play group went and we have been wondering what we were missing. As it turns out a lot. There are dinosaur bones (a big crowd pleaser in our house. I mean, how many other kids can identify the difference between a Velociraptor and a Utahraptor or call Giganotasaurus one of their favorites). There are also other animal bones, Utah Indian displays, rocks and minerals (less interesting at this age), and bugs. Right now there is also a special frog exhibit and we were glad to get to see it before it left.Dallin's scariest roar

Porter's feet compared to a dinosaur's (probably a T-Rex)

more scary roars in front of a T-Rex skull


checking out the teepee

some of the poisonous dart frogs

Onion Days

Because we are Montagues, we are required by law to attend Onion Days festivities. There is a parade. They boys watched it and enjoyed it (well they enjoyed the candy anyway. They didn't care about the floats)

But they really liked the carnival afterward. It was expensive (and hot) so they each got to ride five rides

They also got their faces painted. To Porter, happiness is a dragon across your face.

Dallin got a BYU Cougar but you can't see it in any of the pictures Joe took.

daycare photos

Every six months or so, the daycare has picture day. It has become responsible for some of the funniest professional photos I think I have ever been taken of my kids.

It all started with these two. Porter looks like he going to cry (he probably was) and Dallin looks like a fat little king on his throne

Next came these two. Admittedly, they are not that bad, especially Porter's. It is just that Dallin is making his nervous face (with his tongue poking his cheek) and so I have to wonder what he suffered through for the picture.

The next set of photos makes me laugh every time I see them. It is not that the photography is bad. The theme is just hilarious to me, as are the boy's facial expressions.

they really could have stepped out of 1936 in this picture, both looking so downtrodden

seriously, just look at his face, he must have to fish for his family's dinner all the time

(notice the title of the book that Porter is supposed to be perusing. I'm sure all four-year olds read biographies of Abraham Lincoln)

(Porter's smile is really cute, he looks like he belongs in an episode of the Little Rascals or something)




And finally, came these . . .

Porter looks good

and who doesn't love a little gremlin-face smile,

but it is the group shot that is the coup de grace . . .

hee hee hee, I guess the photographer must usually do engagement photos and couldn't think of any other poses (I am thinking of submitting it to awkward family photos).

Hopefully in a couple of months, I will be blessed with more wonderful pictures of Porter and Dallin.

topsy turvy

Yesterday, I think the boys switched personalities for the day (at least in part).
First we went to the post office and Dallin brought in a toy and then forgot it. He was subjected to a very lengthy lecture by Porter about leaving toys behind. It is a lecture that Porter knows well because he is usually the one to insist on bringing a toy car, action figure, etc. with him everywhere he goes and then getting distracted, putting the toy down and forgetting it. He has even, on occasion, given toys away to other kids at daycare. (As it turns out, Dallin hadn't even brought the toy into the post office after all and we found it in the car).
Next we went to Sam's Club where Dallin threw a temper tantrum about not getting the car he wanted while Porter (eventually) quietly put his chosen car back for another day. Again, it is usually Porter screaming in the store that he must have the toy right now while Dallin can be put off with vague insinuations that we might come back for it another day.
On the way home from the grocery store, both boys fell asleep in the car and when we got home, Porter stayed asleep while Dallin woke up and refused all further efforts by me to try to coax him into a nap. Again, Dallin is the napper and I am forced to make Porter have "quiet time" while Dallin sleeps.
Then, in the most stunning event of all, Dallin ate all of his dinner (and quickly) because he wanted to go on a bike ride, while Porter pushed things around his plate and complained that the ketchup was "too sour," the dino-nuggets "disgusting", and that he doesn't like baked beans anymore. Perhaps Dallin was just hungry because all he had eaten during the day was a dum dum sucker, a piece of string cheese, some juice and half a 3 Musketeers bar (and no that is not all I tried to feed him during the day, that is just all he agreed to eat) but still, eating everything on his plate is unheard of for Dallin. Usually he puts something in his mouth, takes it out uneaten and declares that he is done with dinner. Porter is usually more willing to at least eat something, especially if he promised a bike ride or time with the Wii afterward.
Finally, as I was putting the boys to bed, Porter made up this elaborate tale about how he had eaten after Dallin and I had left on our bikes. He told me Joe made him mashed potatoes with gravy and no red stuff (potato peels), macaroni and cheese, etc. Obviously, none of this was true. And again, it is usually Dallin who makes up stories about what he did during the day while Porter brings him back to reality. (For example, Dallin told Joe all about putting his face in the water a couple of days ago and then Porter reminded him that we didn't go swimming that day. I think Dallin just doesn't have a concept of time yet and so when something important happened to him, he will relive it for weeks).

wrestling

My normally wrestling-adverse children (well, at least Porter is wrestling-adverse) decided on their own to go outside and wrestle each other. The rules are that one of them stands still while the other runs toward him. Then then roll around on the ground together. It is one of the greatest games they have come up, in their opinion.

family bike rides

(one half of our family bike-riding team, notice Dallin's superhero overload)

We had our first family bike ride last night, though I don't think it was how Joe originally envisioned such an event. Porter still has his training wheels and Dallin accidentally hits the brakes often or rides into a ditch and then needs help to get going again. In fact, the "family" aspect of biking only lasted out of the driveway. After that, Porter took off and Joe stayed with him and Dallin and I slowly went our own way. It took Dallin and I about half an hour to ride around the block. Dallin would usually make it past a couple of houses before he would stop for some reason and I would need to come and push him so he could get started again. He did successfully maneuver around several cars parked over the sidewalk portion of driveways though and was really proud of himself. After our ride around the block, Dallin practiced riding down the driveway again until bathtime.

peddling

Dallin can use the peddles on his bike now! Hooray. He's not the greatest at it yet but at least he doesn't just sit in the middle of the sidewalk hoping the bike will move on its own. He usually starts at the top of the driveway and rides down the sidewalk and around the corner. Then he stops and walks his bike all the way back up to the top of the driveway and starts over again.

A couple of months ago I was talking to Porter about his friend Sage at daycare. Porter said that Sage's dad is in the army. I asked Sage about this and he said that his daddy is in heaven. It made me want to cry but I didn't want to harass Sage about it so I asked him about his mom and he said that she is "crazy" and then did some crazy little dance. That was kind of the end of it. Last night (during his chatty, sleep-avoiding time), Porter told me that Sage dad is dead. He said that Sage's dad was in a car crash and fell out of the car and died. I said that that must make Sage sad. In a tone that made it clear that I was an idiot, Porter said, "no, he still has a mom and a uncle who wears army clothes and comes to get him from daycare." I guess Porter has never really lost anyone (luckily) and doesn't understand that a dad can't be traded for an uncle, even if the uncle wears army clothes. He does seem to understand that people need a mom and a dad though because later, after Dallin told me to go away and I said that I would go away forever, Porter said that Dad would have to find a new mom to take care of them then and they could come visit me after I found a new dad.