Grandma Montague

Joe's grandma died recently. It was a sad even for her family. She had been ill for a while though and suffering from so many of the problems of old age and so, in some ways it was a blessing. I'm sure that she is much happier now with her mind and body once again in tact. Joe's mom told me that the Grandma's bishop had spoken about her at church though and had said how he wished that the ward members all could have known her, not as she had been for the past couple of years, but how she had been as a younger woman, serving in many calling, helping her neighbors, being active in her community. It made me think a little about how many people I know who are "old" and how I sometimes shy away from getting to know them because getting old makes me uncomfortable. I thought about my own great grandma who lived until I was in high school. From the time I was born, she was an old woman. I have a vague memory of visiting her at her house in Logan when I was very young but shortly after that, she had move in with one of her daughters because she was too old to care for herself. I remember being sort of embarassed by her the time she and my grandma came to visit our family in Wisconsin and some of my friends were over for my birthday (in my defense, or maybe to my condemnation, I was embarassed by most adults at that time. I was one of those kids who, by elementary school, was embarassed to have parents, grandparents, etc. It was mortifying to me if my mom came to see me at school or something). Anyway, I feel badly thinking of it now. Even though she was alive, I never really got the chance to know her for who she had been before she was old and fragile. Once, when I was in high school, my great grandma came to stay at our house for a couple of days. I am grateful that I took some time while she was there (sitting in our living room, eating Fiddle Faddle and crocheting) to talk to her about her life. I also read to her because she enjoyed having people read her books or magazine articles. I didn't spend as much with her as I should have, but at least, I went away knowing a little more about her.

I feel similarly about Joe's grandma. When Joe and I first dated, he lived with his grandparents and I would go visit him at their house. Grandma would watch cooking shows and ask me what I thought of them or show me videos and pictures of Joe and his siblings as kids. She was a kind lady who always made me feel welcome in their home. It wasn't long after Joe and I were married though that Grandma's health and mental condition started going downhill. I know that my kids, if they remember her at all, will only remember her the way she was before she died, not as the woman she was for almost 80 years before that. I hope their dad will share stories with them of his grandma so they will know who she really was.

On the up side, having a funeral is a good occasion to see family. Joe's parents and all of his sibling were in town. The boys had such a good time playing with their uncles, Joe's uncles, and their cousin. I didn't take pictures like I should have (in part because my camera battery has been acting up and in part because I saw so many others with cameras that I figure there will be pictures of the events. This is a broad hint to any who took pictures and read this blog, send me pictures). I did take some pictures of Porter, Dallin, and McKayla at the park though.