religious instruction from Porter and Dallin

The following statements/discussions have occurred in our home:

(1) Porter to Dallin after Dallin's blew away, "Dallin, don't worry about your balloon, just worry about yourself. Jesus will catch your balloon and give it you when you die."

(2) Porter: "Mom, what would Heavenly Father do to me if I cut Dallin in half and he died."
Mom: Heavenly Father would probably make you go live with Satan if you killed your brother."
Porter: "No, Heavenly Father loves me so much he wouldn't make me stay with Satan."

(3) Porter was behaving badly at a restaurant the other day. He told me that he was choosing Satan.

(4) Dallin and Porter were asking me about my dad. Dallin asked if I was sad that my dad was dead (yes) and Porter said that it is weird that my dad doesn't know that I am grown up because he can't see me. I told them that my dad probably knows that I am grownup, that he still watches me from Heaven. Dallin now thinks he can see my dad's eyeballs in the sky, watching us.

(5) Porter learned about baptism on Sunday. We asked him how old you have to be to be baptized. He said 8. We asked him who can baptize you. He said your dad. I asked who else. Dallin said, your mom and Porter agreed. I explained that moms can't because they don't have the priesthood. Joe asked who could baptize you if your dad wasn't around. Porter said you would have to wait for him to come home. Joe said, what if your dad was dead? Porter said you would have to wait for for a very long time. Dallin then said that your mom could do it.

(6) Dallin has really been enjoying his sunbeam class. He has such good teachers and every week he can give us a pretty good approximation of what he learned. This week he learned about the "animals" and "the boat" (Porter then reminded him that it was the ark). He learned about plants a couple of weeks ago and planted a pea plant. He sets it outside for 5 minutes at a time to make sure it gets enough sun. He also learned about water one week. He carried around a water bottle of water his teacher gave him for two weeks, and showed it off to everyone.

(7) Dallin thinks that he should yell his prayers as quickly as he can.