silly

Porter had a string of funny things to say yesterday. He slept in and I couldn't get him up, no matter what I tried. He didn't wake up when I opened his blinds or turned on his radio. He didn't even wake up when Dallin told him we would have donuts. I finally woke up when I started dressing him while he was still asleep. He asked if I knew why he slept so long. I said it must have been because he was so tired. He said no, it was because we grow in our sleep and he wanted to grow a lot. He wanted to be taller. Later, in the car, I asked him he wanted to go to the mall to see Santa tomorrow. He said no, Santa already knows what he wants. Finally, he noticed that it was foggy out and said, "Santa comes on a foggy Christmas Eve."

Today we went to see Santa the mall (we were there already and Porter changed his mind about seeing him). When it was our turn, Porter clammed up. Dallin made his request for a BYU Candycane and Porter couldn't speak. Santa asked him he wanted cars and Porter nodded. Afterward, Porter was astounded. He had told a previous Santa that he wanted cars. Even though he knew this wasn't the same Santa, he figured the first one must have been a helper or something because he reported Porter's desire to the real Santa. Then Porter told me that Rudolph isn't real. Santa only has 6 real reindeer and Rudolph isn't one of them. I wonder where he heard that.

Lest you think Dallin doesn't say his share of strange things, here are some Dallin examples. First, Dallin has decided he has a baby in his tummy and one in his head. The baby in his tummy is named Dallin Jr. and the baby in his head is named Koen (after his friend at daycare). He thought they would come out about a week ago but they are still inside him. Dallin also decided to fix my hair this morning. He spent about twenty minutes blow drying me and fixing my hair with different brushes and combs.

a couple more

I accidentally deleted these from the first post but I like them too much. The first is another example of Porter's special smile. The second is just cute. And the third is another one of his little antics. He always thought he should wear toilet paper on his head for dancing or spinning.

Porter bellow

Today my Porter-bellow turns 5. That seems very old to me.Porter is such a great kid. We are lucky to have him. He is a smart kid with a good memory (sometimes too good. He won't let you forget anything).

He loves treats. He loves cake especially. He doesn't care for pie, considering it a lesser dessert to cake. He also loves ketchup on everything and I mean everything. He loves it on chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers, apples, grapes . . . You name it, Porter will probably eat it with ketchup. He tries very hard to eat things that he doesn't like, in the hopes that it will make him big a strong. Once he told me, "I ate a carrot at daycare. It was disgusting. I will be as big as Uncle Jacob now." His ability to eat hated items usually only extends to one bite though, and sometimes ends in crying or throwing up. Porter also likes pizza, mac and cheese, peanut butter and jelly, and tacos just like most kids. (We discovered the love of tacos and nachos after they had them at daycare. He asked for sandwiches with skinny bread around them with cheese and brown stuff inside. I had to guess for a while until I figured out he was talking about tacos).

Porter is a devoted fan of whatever his current interest is. When he was young, he fell in love with Thomas the Train. We had to go to Target almost daily to check for new trains. The trains slept with him, ate with him, bathed with him. He would always check on the trains to make sure their coal cars were turned the right direction, that the right trains were hooked to each other, etc. When he first learned to talk, he called the trains "toots" and "chooka choos" He would talk to them and talk like them. (My favorite was when he sprinkled his floor with cheerios for them to eat). He has shown the same devotion to his love of dinosaurs, superheros, legos, etc. We go to the dinosaur museum at least monthly to look at the dinosaurs and collect new dinosaurs for his collection (he generally prefers predators). We also watch dinosaur train and read dinosaur books. He also has a Curious George that he sleeps with. For a while, George went everywhere with Porter. We even had to put him in a plastic bag and take him sledding.

Porter is my very shy child. Even as a baby, he didn't like people to look at him or hold him (except me or grandma and sometimes dad). He even gets nervous around family members he knows well and won't talk. He doesn't like to tell people things about himself and would rather say he doesn't know or nothing at all than have to answer questions. Along with being shy, he can get very anxious. He worries about being a good boy (sometimes) and gets really upset if he has done something wrong and has to tell us about it. He also worries about making a bad decision. He doesn't like to pick out clothes, toys, etc. himself. He prefers to select a couple of things and then have me or Joe decide which one is best. He is afraid of a lot of things. He especially doesn't like to be alone or be in the dark. Every night, he prays for help to be braver about things. He is getting braver though. He goes to daycare without getting upset. He goes outside by himself sometimes. He uses the toilet without worrying about how loudly it will flush. And he will even go into the basement sometimes (if Dallin comes with him).

Porter likes to play pretend with other people. It makes him happiest if he and I can each take one of his toy sharks or wolves and talk for them and play. He likes to play "tigers" with Dallin. They snarl at each other and jump on each other. He also likes to play Wii and X-box. I'm afraid he is a bit of video game addict. Luckily, he tempers it with a lot of physical activity. He likes all sports and is getting pretty good at gymnastics.

There's so much to love about Porter. All his funny little stories, his quick mind, his efforts to keep Dallin in line, etc. We are lucky to have him.

Porter at the fountains at the Gateway
Porter's 4th birthday. He is a diehard BYU fan.

his 3rd birthday. His first big birthday party

Right before turning two, Porter got saddled with this younger brother. Porter works hard to take care of him and keep him in line.

Porter's 2nd birthday. Back when he loved all things Thomas

When I think back on Porter as toddler, I think of (1) all of his crazy antics (like constantly climbing into the vents,

and strangely adorning himself)

(2) his terrible hair

(3) his first friendship with Vanessa

and, of course (4) his beautiful smile

Porter's first birthday

these are just baby pictures I like of Porter (it was hard to pick just a couple)

Porter as a brand new baby, five years ago

singing

Tonight Dallin decided that we should all hold hands and stand around the Christmas tree singing. (He had been watching Charlie Brown Christmas and saw everyone singing). So we did. We sang Jingle Bells. It made Dallin very happy. I think we will do it again.

marriage

On Saturday I went to a good friend's wedding. It is her second marriage (and his as well). Between them, they have five kids, all very young. As I was watching my friend's daughter during the wedding, I kept thinking what a bittersweet event the wedding was. I am happy that my friend has found a new companion and I am not passing judgment on her reasons for divorcing. I know that she had good reasons for ending her first marriage to her children's father and, though I don't know her new husband well, I am certain he had good reasons for divorcing too. But still, it makes me sad. Having become friends with my friend while she married to her first husband and having been friends with him as well, I kept thinking about much better it could have been for all involved if the first marriage had worked. I was sad for my friend's ex-husband as I watched my friend remarry. I thought about how his bad decisions had cost him this family that he loved so dearly. I know that he misses his wife and children and had hoped to reconcile, but she has moved on. Another man will spend Christmas with his family. Another man will discipline his children, will comfort them when they are sad, and will build a life with their mother. Mostly, I was sad for my friend's children. I'm sure their new stepdad is a good person who will be kind to them and love them, but he is not their dad. They will live an even more divided life than they had before. Now they not only divide their time between homes, but they divide their loyalities between two family. And most importantly, they are not part of a family that is sealed.

I know there is no easy answer to this. I didn't expect my friend to stay in a marriage where her husband was making poor decisions that would negatively impact them. I want my friend to be happy and hope this marriage is long and happy for her. I know there are many marriages that are bad and in some cases, couples truely are better off without each other. Certainly I would never want someone to stay in a situtation where they were being abused, physically or mentally. But, I know that divorce is also oftentimes a terrible solution as well. I was thinking specifically of the Tiger Woods situation. Obviously, I don't know him and don't the truth of the situation, but it does seem that he dealt with his wife and family very callously. I was listening to an NPR show the other day about infidelity and one of the segements was about wedding announcements. It discussed how so many wedding announcements allude to the fact that the couple had an affair before marrying. The couples act like their former spouses were simply roadblocks or something to the couple finding each other. I just wish that first marriages could be valued more in our society. That there wasn't almost and expectation that marriages won't last. I also wish that people took more responsibility for their actions. Instead of acting like they were compelled to start drinking, that they met their sole mate and couldn't resist having an affair, that they fell out of love with their spouse, etc., that people would accept that they are responsible for the situation that they find themselves in. That they could have acted differently. That they made a choice. Okay, I will come off my soap box. I just wish that families could stay together and be happy. That kids never had to face divorce or even parents that treat each other unkindly.

chipmunks

Porter loves Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. We watch it in the car all the time. Porter likes to sing in his "chipmunk" voice. Yesterday he told me, "when I sing in my chipmunk voice, you can't tell if it is me or the chipmunks, huh. When I sing in my regular voice, you can tell it is me."

funny

to Porter, one of the funniest things in the world is when Joe's character crashes his motorcycle on the x-box game. This was a particularly hilarious game.

nativity

One of the women in our ward sent out an email to everyone, telling us about a live nativity that one stake in Draper has put together. I took the boys. It was FREEZING. We waited outside for about two hours and were miserable most of the time. There were fires around, which helped, and live animals to pet, which took the boys' minds off being cold, but it was still kind of miserable. Dallin kept crying and being thirsty and Porter kept getting annoyed with Dallin and with being cold. I kept getting annoyed about the slow moving line, getting edged out of line when we tried to pet the camels, etc. I thought about throwing in the towel a couple of times but Porter said that he wanted to see baby Jesus. By the time we finally got the "Bethlehem" I was feeling pretty grumpy and was expecting to be let down. I was not. When we got to "baby Jesus," I was surprised at how moved I was. I could really feel the spirit. I wasn't sure if the boys would appreciate it though. We stood in front of the nativity for a few minutes and then I told them that we needed to give other people a chance to see. The didn't want to go. When we finally did go, Porter was crying and agreed to hold my hand (which he generally refuses to do). He said he was glad he waited, that it was very special to see baby Jesus. Even Dallin seemed to understand that it was important. He came home and told Joe that we went to see Jesus.

nut

Today Dallin was having a difficult day. He threw a big tantrum at McDonalds that culminated in me dragging him out screaming, "I want to eat! I am hungry! I don't want to go home!" It was terrible. In the car, Porter had had enough and said, "Dallin is driving me like a nut."

is it just me?

is it just me or does this child look an awful lot like his dad? (His dad is the one at the bottom). For the record, Porter doesn't think he looks like Joe because he doesn't have any "spots" on his face like Dad does in the picture)

Last night, Porter told me that he couldn't go to sleep because his eyes wouldn't let him. Bedtime was a big hassle. I may have to do away with naps. Porter and Dallin didn't want to go to sleep, they were up until almost 11. At one point, I went to brush my teeth and get myself ready for bed. Dallin followed immediately and sat on the rug. Porter came in about three minutes later and said with a sniffle, "I tried to be a big boy but I was too scared."

Right now, Porter and Dallin are playing some sort of Christmas game where Porter is giving Dallin all the old toys in the basement and telling him they are for Christmas. Porter keeps calling Dallin "son."