funny stories and naughtiness

Porter has taken up with funny explanations of things again. Continuing with his sensitivity toward the elderly (you may remember he would always loudly opine, in front of senior citizens, that they were old and would be dead soon), Porter was asking me why old people walk funny. I asked him what he meant and he showed the little waddle/shuffle that you sometimes see older people doing. I told him that sometimes old people's knees and hips stop working good so it is hard for them to walk. He said that they walk like penguins. He also told me that he saw an old person at the doctor's once who only had one leg. He said, "there wasn't even any blood coming out and she didn't have a bone anymore."

I spent most of Monday and Tuesday with the boys looking for costumes. Porter wanted to be a ninja again and quickly found a costume he liked. Dallin had several ideas of what he wanted to be though. I like to think he is just really creative. He wanted to be a fire Batman, a Superman with a Batman cape and red goggles, a dinosaur with one horn on top (there actually is such a dinosaur, he saw it in a book, I can't remember what it is called right now), and a soccer ball. Every costume required a sword too. Finally, he saw a vampire bat costume that he liked but it didn't come in his size. He would not settle for anything less than to be a vampire bat with a sword. We had to go to every Halloween store in the Salt Lake valley before we finally found the vampire bat in his size (well, almost his size, it is a medium, so we had to cut down the legs). Dallin keeps standing on the couch, wearing his costume and flapping his wings, trying to fly. He was telling me that when the trees and grass move (i.e. the wind is blowing) then he will be able to fly outside. Porter disagrees. He told Dallin that he couldn't fly because (1) he was not a real vampire bat, (2) real vampire bats move their wings so fast they make wind, and (3) he is too heavy. Dallin still thinks he can fly and has been trying to move his arms faster to get up in the air. He also likes to wear the costume and try to scare the cats.

I took the boys to Golden Corral today for lunch. They had been behaving badly but I figured it was mostly because they were hungry. As Dallin was eating, he said, "this is making me feel better, I don't feel so grumpy." That seemed like good news until he needed to go to the bathroom. Once we got in there, he was mostly fine, though he tried to fill the toliet with toliet paper. I told him he had to wash his hands and that really upset him though. He started screaming and crying. I tried to make him wash his hands, he cried louder. I told him we were going back to the table, he insisted there was still soap on his hands and refused to leave. It culimated with me carrying him back to the table kicking and screaming. As soon as I put him down, he ran crying back to the bathroom. I found him sitting on the floor crying, blocking the bathroom door, while people gathered around him to try to see if he was lost, etc. Little booger. I had to drag him back screaming to the table a second time. He finally settled down because he wanted to have dessert. While we were in the bathroom though, the people at the table next to us must have figured that we left because they stacked all their dirty dishes on our table. When we came back, they didn't take the dishes back or anything. They just pretended it wasn't them and avoided looking at me. I was kind of annoyed. It was disgusting to have someone else's dirty dishes sitting on our table.