miniature golfing

I took the boys miniature golfing. I thought it would go already because Porter has been excelling at Wii golf. I was wrong. Dallin would hit the ball once and strangely and then he would pick it up and try to drop it in the hole. Porter at least tried to hit it in but would stand at weird angles and hold the club awkwardly too. When we were done, we hit the ball into the final hole where the ball doesn't come out. Porter was very upset by this and try to go in after it. He screamed and cried for about 10 minutes afterward because he wanted to play again. I had to pry the club away from him. Both boys were worn out afterward and fell asleep in the car though.

Afton

Porter and Dallin have a new cousin. Her name is Afton June Hunt. They went to visit her in the hospital but refused to hold her (Dallin did deign to give her a kiss though). At the zoo, Porter had selected a pink flamingo for her (because babies need soft toys and girls like pink) and they gave it to her in the hospital. When she woke up for a little while, Porter tried to make her play with the flamingo, but she isn't ready quite yet.

potty

I told Porter to turn off the light in the bathroom and he said he couldn't because the dinosaurs were still pooping. I went in and found this.

all that went on

It seems like it has been a very busy time for us. Since we had to replace my van, I have spent a lot of my time looking for a new one. The search has brought out the salesman in Dallin. Wherever we go now, Dallin starts rubbing all of the cars and asks, "you like dis one Mom?" Then he tells me about it as though it is the greatest vehicle ever. "It is blue!" or "It a truck like Jacob's!" He is not a very discriminating salesman though because he likes every car on the lot. Porter asks us every night if we are going to another dealership to drive vans. Hopefully, this weirdness is over now that we have bought a van though. (Dallin and Porter would like to name it "toothpaste" but I am not sold on the name).

It has also been a time of a number of injuries for the boys. A couple of weeks ago, Porter fell badly on the sidewalk and scraped up his face. While looking for cars, Dallin fell off a retaining wall at a dealership and bonked his head. He seemed okay but the next day he was vomiting for no reason and I ended up taking him to the emergency room. He got his first CT scan and was pronounced fine. The concussion wasn't bad and he seems to have fully recovered. The highlight of the trip to the emergency room for Porter and Dallin was that the nurse brought them Sprite. During Dallin's intake assessment, he started throwing up everywhere. The nurse called for someone to get Dallin and get him a hospital bed. The nurse said, "I have a two year old with a head injury who is vomiting right now." Dallin overheard and said, "no, I done." Then yesterday, Dallin fell off his scooter and bit his tongue. No one has any lasting injuries though so things are fine.

The boys and I have also gone to a lot of places lately. I took them to the zoo two weeks ago. They really liked it. Porter liked the elephant show the best. Dallin like the "nocericous." Joe got a pretty lengthy report about the zoo that evening.

On Tuesday, I took them to the aquarium. They have a new exhibit with animals from Africa or something. There is a electric eel there and these two little nodes that you can touch to feel what it is like to be shocked. Dallin kept going back to get shocked over and over. I don't know why that appealed to him. Porter touched a stingray this time and was happy about it. Again, Joe received a full report.

The big event though was going for Day Out with Thomas yesterday. Porter and Dallin had been looking forward to it ever since I mentioned it a couple of weeks ago. Porter brought his camera and took many shots. When he wanted to be in the picture, he handed the camera off to Dallin. It was hot out, very different from last year when it snowed when we went. Porter was so excited to ride the train that he took off running when he heard the train whistle. Dallin was dawdling behind and so, while urging Dallin on, I lost Porter. The security people had to find him. He was trying to find a way into the engine. For the train ride, they had open freight cars and closed passenger cars. I tried to talk Porter into riding on one of the open cars so it wouldn't be too hot. He refused. He insisted that we ride in the very first passenger car (who he believed was Thomas's coach, Annie). Poor Dallin was near heat stroke at the end.

We ate lunch then, which the boys didn't like because the hot dogs were cooked on a grill and so had marks on them. Porter had to hold back the tears when I told him that he would not get cotton candy if he didn't eat some of his hot dog. At the lunch pavillion, they had entertainment. The first was a Dugger-style-family singing and instrument-playing group, dressed in western wear. It wasn't my favorite. Their microphones were turned up really loud. They played their instruments well and Porter thought it was great. Next was a magician who did little tricks with rope and then pulling money from people's heads, etc. Porter laughed incessantly and Dallin kept clapping. They were both pretty impressed.

They also had a little petting zoo at the Thomas thing with ponies, donkeys and a small camel. There wasn't a lot of structure to it and people could just let themselves in and out of the gate. The animals didn't want to be there and whenever the gate would open, the animals would try to make a break for it. At one point, Porter and Dallin were sitting on a little bench by one of the ponies. A grandma opened the gate and was dithering with her granddaughter about whether they should come in or not. The pony by Porter and Dallin saw his opportunity and tried to bust out of the gate. In his haste, he backed up into Porter and Dallin then sneezed on them. Joe heard about that several times.

There were also Thomas tattoos. When asked where they would like theirs, Porter held out his hand. Dallin, on the other hand, lifted up his shirt so that the woman would put it on his tummy. He then walked around for the rest of the day periodically lifting his shirt to show it off. When we dropped him off at daycare this morning, I heard him tell his teacher that he had a tattoo and then lift up his shirt for her to see.

By the end of the day, we were all exhausted and I was on the verge of leaving one of them there from all the whining, running away, etc. We were glad that we went though. Porter was especially happy that Sir Topham Hatt patted him on the head.

(By the way, I am retarded about blogger and can't figure out how to space the pictures throughout the blog, so sorry. Just imagine the pictures interspersed to help tell the story. Also, as many of you know, I have some sort of hereditary disorder wherein I take hundreds of pictures of my kids at various places after haranguing them to pose. It comes from my mom. I post all of the pictures on my ofoto page. The pictures I take with my iphone usually end up on my facebook page)

These are some pictures that Porter drew while Dallin was in gymnastics. Some of them are on the back of coloring pages and that is why you can see the other picture threw the one he drew. The names of them are on the pictures. I think Roast Beef is my favorite but it is hard to choose. I like that he tried to write "buckle" on the buckle pants picture (which is what he calls overalls)

the difference between dads and moms

Okay, this won't solve the problems of the universe or anything, but I have decided that the difference between dads and moms (if Joe and I can serve as a representative sample) boils down to a couple of different examples (mind you, this is not a judgment on which is better, only an observation on how it is):

(A) When I take the kids somewhere, anywhere, I always bring the following items:
(1) at least two diapers
(2) several extra wipes
(3) juice cups
(4) at least one small toy for each (cars, trains, dinosaurs, etc.)

Depending on the occasion, I often also bring
(1) snacks
(2) extra clothing (including jackets)
(3) more toys, including coloring books and crayons
(4) a handful of quarters for any vending machine, store ride, etc. needs that should arise

When Joe takes the boys somewhere, he generally brings . . . nothing, unless I have packed stuff for the kids already and given it to them or he decides that he might be gone for a while and brings a diaper

(B) When Porter and Dallin outgrown something (clothes, toys, etc.) I generally pack them away and save them for Dallin, if it is something of Porter's, or the next theoretical child, if it is something of Dallin's. This makes for a fairly crowded basement.

If Joe ends up cleaning out the boys closets, drawers, toy bins, etc., the trash can and D.I. pile end up much fuller the next day.

(C) When Porter and Dallin bring home art projects from daycare or church, I put all of the projects in little boxes in their rooms.

If Joe were in charge of art projects, he would send one or two off to grandmas as gifts and then toss the remainder. (In this case, he knows it breaks my heart to throw away any of the boys paintings and so he just gathers them all up and leaves them for me to sort.)

(D) When I take the boys to McDonalds, I plan on spending at least an hour there. I let the boys play and munch on their lunchs.

When Joe takes the boys to McDonalds, he plans on spending about 15 minutes. The boys have to finish whatever they are going to eat before they are allowed to play and then they can play for a few minutes. While they are playing, he eats whatever they have left behind. If they come back looking for another chicken nugget, they are told that they should have eaten them more quickly.


As I said, this is not meant to imply that one method is better. Maybe, I shouldn't stuff my basement with toys for another child who may or may not (1) ever be born and (2) like those toys and maybe I should make them eat all their lunch before they can play. I was just noticing these things as differences and, perhaps, as metaphors for the difference between us in general.

wondering

Porter asked me tonight if I wear a pull-up to bed too. I told him I didn't. He asked why. I told him that it was because I don't pee the bed. He thinks that he doesn't pee the bed either. He forgets that it is because he wears a pull-up.

Tonight he loves his motorcycle and chicken nuggets (he hates all other foods, allegedly).

lunch

Today, after gymnastics, Porter and Dallin got into a rather large fight about where they wanted to eat lunch. Porter wanted McDonalds and Dallin wanted "Chick-a-fay" (which Porter translated for me to be Chick-fil-a). We ended up going to McDonalds, based on its proximity to gymnastics. Dallin did argue pretty strongly though

loves

Lately, Porter has been saying that he loves things. This is a non-exhaustive list of the "loves" statements he has made recently. (Dallin usually contributes by calling Porter a Butt-Butt)

(1) "Goll, I love these little green things [little green beads he found at the park, strewn in the bark]"

(2) "I love to shovel dog poop!" (In response to my statement that we don't want a dog because it would poop everywhere and we would have to shovel it up).

(3) "I like Cars, but I love Spiderman." (debating whether he would rather have shorts with Cars characters on them or shorts with Spiderman on them)

(4) "I just love superheros. I will save up my money to buy all the superheros [at Walmart]. I don't love Joker. I hate him. I love Batman though."

(5) "Legos, I love to play with Legos."

(6) "George loves to be buckeled in the carseat with me so he won't fall out."

hopefully soon

Hopefully soon, this blog will not be about the various thefts that I have experienced.

Last night, at about midnight, I got a call from a police officer with the gang unit saying that my car had been found and could I come get it right then. They had some kid named Roy in custody and the officer said that he was just sort of the middle man (moving it from one chopping place to the next) and not the guy that originally stole. He will be charged with possession of a stolen vehicle and, hopefully, he will turn in the people who actually took it. By the way, if you are ever a police officer and are calling a crime victim, it might be nice if you didn't do it at midnight from a blocked number so that all manner of panic arise in said victim when the phone rings. Anyway, I said that I couldn't come right then because I would have to wake up my husband and kids and so he said that the car would be towed to an impound lot and I could get it today. I went to the impound lot this morning (it took me like an hour to find because the guy who worked the counter wasn't the brightest and gave me directions based on things like, turn left when you see a bunch of pallets). When I got the impound lot, I found out that they won't release the car to me until I get some kind of release from the DMV, which I then discovered is closed on Fridays because the county offices have gone to a four day work week. I am supposed to come back on Monday with $227 in cash and the certificate from the DMV. Hooray, so I get to go get a car with no back seats, torn apart flooring and cigarette smoke stink pervading it. There was nothing really left in the car. They took Joe's keys off the key ring so that only mine were left. The library book is gone. The car seats are gone. The sippy cup is gone. Everything is gone. They did leave Porter's Batman sunglasses in the glove compartment though. There are also some things missing or damaged in Joe's car and so I think that the theives got into his car too.

One of my judges went on vacation on April 14th. In the two and half weeks she has been gone, the following things have happened to me/my family
(1) my briefcase was stolen;
(2) I got a UTI;
(3) Porter fell and scraped up his face pretty badly;
(4) Porter, Dallin, and I all got the flu to some degree or another;
(5) my car was stolen and returned sans seats. (I also had a useless job interview where they told me that they anticipate having openings in about a year, but except for the hassle of getting dressed up and psyched up for a non-interview, that doesn't seem very important)

Hopefully, when she returns on Monday, she will remove the pins from the voodoo doll she has undoubtedly created of me and my life will be able to progress in the uneventual fashion that it previously did.

I will try to be positive now, before I start kicking things and muttering naughty words to myself. At least I (1) still have a job, (2) have reasonably healthy kids, (3) have a husband who has tried very hard to be nice and helpful throughout, (4) have various forms of insurance so that illness, car theft, credit card theft, etc. are not the financial hardship that they could have been, and (5) have nice friends and family who worry about me and try to help me not feel too down. There, I feel better already (sort of). I would really have appreciated it if the car theives had just totalled the car so that I wouldn't have to take back a stinky, seatless vehicle though.